Man Repeller

I recently discovered the world’s most effective method for workout motivation: pay for a gym membership so expensive you develop a severe case of The Guilts, which requires you spend an inordinate amount of time hanging out there just to justify your expenditure. (That said, there truly is the potential to break even if you consider all the available amenities: a lifetime supply of tampons and razors for you, my friend.)

One such week – (never mind having ramen for dinner the fourth night in a row; this treadmill is sleeeek!) I wound up seeing through a perfect seven days of exercise. Besides becoming really familiar with the check-in staff and finally learning where my obliques live, I observed that there’s a distinct difference between the types of gym attendees according to what day of the week it is.

An Analysis of Gym Attendees, Monday Through Sunday